It's that time again...

It's that time again. Time for maturity and spiritual growth! I am learning so much about myself through fasting and sacrifice! Good and bad.... But again, it's that time!!!

Trials-trials

This week is kicking my butt the devil is at work on me!!!! Man is he working:( he's attacking my urges, my desires, my weaknesses, my relationships:( he making me push away the ones I need to draw near he's making me want to draw near the ones whom I should push away! I'm feeling like I'm breaking like I'm truly at war. I'm hurting people who don't deserve it! This week idk what it is but it's coming on strong ladies!!!! Major stuff! Please pray for me!!!!

Half way

2 weeks down... 2 weeks to go! It's crazy I don't feel like my fast is serving its purpose I feel as if I have became busy and swamped and haven't lost lbs or focused in on the Father anymore than usual?! Idk.... I'm trying and things haven't been much of a challenge except chocolate:( ughhhhhhh

Amen!!!

in every way. Offer yourself as a role model of good actions. Show integrity, seriousness, and a sound message that is above criticism when you teach, so that any opponent will be ashamed because they won’t find anything bad to say about us. (Titus 2:7, 8 CEB)

Daily readings-noted from my readings today, motivation/inspiration;)

I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know–God knows. And I know that this man–whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows– was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.  To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it. I ought to have been commended by you, for I am not in the least inferior to the “super‑apostles,” even though I am nothing. The things that mark an apostle–signs, wonders and miracles–were done among you with great perseverance. How were you inferior to the other churches, except that I was never a burden to you? Forgive me this wrong!  Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. If I love you more, will you love me less? Be that as it may, I have not been a burden to you. Yet, crafty fellow that I am, I caught you by trickery! Did I exploit you through any of the men I sent you? I urged Titus to go to you and I sent our brother with him. Titus did not exploit you, did he? Did we not act in the same spirit and follow the same course?  Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? We have been speaking in the sight of God as those in Christ; and everything we do, dear friends, is for your strengthening. For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the bimpurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged. (2 Corinthians 12:1-21 NIV84) Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. If I love you more, will you love me less? Be that as it may, I have not been a burden to you. Yet, crafty fellow that I am, I caught you by trickery! Did I exploit you through any of the men I sent you? (2 Corinthians 12:14-17 NIV84) So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:16 NIV84) Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.  Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather. (Matthew 24:12, 13, 28 NIV84) For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. (1 Peter 2:19, 20 NIV84) Why should any living man complain when punished for his sins? (Lamentations 3:39 NIV84)

Ok ladies it is official that crap (sorry no other word would cover it) we put in our bodies is JUST that!!!! Stuck at work starving so I was defeated I ate a dang milky way and a slice of pizza that had for snack:((( this girl feels like well crap! I feel soooo sick!!! Like really!!!!! So day 6 has defeated me:( on the chocolate part but I'm back, at it tomorrow:(

Be consciously focused!

Good morning warriors;) "The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on the things we desire, not things we fear" Now go forth consciously and conquer!!! Takin no losses!!! As Autumn and Angie both said "LEGGGGO!"

Day 5!!!!

When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” (Matthew 13:19-23 NIV84) My patience is tested! My heart is heavy but I know why I know that the worlds temptations are not for me or of me I know just as the things we are fasting from are irrelevant so are things such as anger, resentment, or hatred in my heart or in my words! I know as we are giving up these other things we must give these up and love those who are unlovable-love those who we cannot see even an ounce of their understanding or reasoning!!! We must extend our grace and forgive even those who wouldn't dare ask for forgiveness-they know not what we know, the simple unconditional love from our savior that has so much mercy upon US!!!! I will let my heart hurt and the tears fall before I belittle or try to bring sense to something in no image of love. I will not stoop to the levels of others who have no regard for me, or whom have no love for me. I will shut up in the name of God and love them more-for they MUST NOT KNOw what WE know!!!!! The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:35-37 NIV84) So I say this temptation is just that temptation-it has NO power!!! None the only time it prevails is when you ALlOW it! And only then it still has no power unless you FEED it! Unless you speak it to be so! Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. “The owner's servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’ ” ‘An enemy did this,’ he replied. “The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’ ” ‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’ ” He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches.” He told them still another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.” Jesus spoke all these things to the crowd in parables; he did not say anything to them without using a parable. So was fulfilled what was spoken through the prophet: “I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden since the creation of the world.” (Matthew 13:24-35 NIV84) Nothing can or will grow with out nourishment and upkeep, without being fed and harvested!!!! Temptation is a fear, fear is the opposite of love! Fear is not of God... Temptation says, what if, or; but I might miss out, but what this is better, but this is boring, that is fun, mmmmm... Mmmm, feed the flesh!!! Shut it out ladies fight it! Be at peace. Humble yourselves and know JOY!!! Love them WHERE THEY are at!!! Now go weed your harvest, for it will produce the fruit you will eat for ETERNITY!!! You WILL reap what you sow. Fast now and feast later, OR feast now fast forever......

Day three!!!!!

Hit the Y this morning, mannnnn sore beyond belief!!! Reading war of words, this girl has been craving a candy bar ALL day!!!!!! Omg..... I guess a payday I could have lol... I did wonder what was going on on good Ol' FB.... Brief thoughts that came and went.

Day two....

I'm on the floor and can't get up!!!!!! Literally!!! Lol worked out 3 times yesterday, morning y workout, trained with Quincy and closed with a walk with count on me;) mannnnn! Today wasnt to bad either-challenges, breakfast:( jimmys egg:paradise omelet, no meat lol and a sweet potatoe pancake... went for pizza with the kids and can't have pork so my two faces, out. Barbecue and ham n cheddar... I survived!!! But all others where cake! So far, lol sooo good! PUSH ON LADIES!!!!! PUSH;)))) shot around with the kids before pizza.... I still cannot move, doing p-90 x-stretch then hitting the sack!!! NIGHT YO! P.S. girls still no TV-rock on Divas and Brody no poptarts;) awesome kids!!!

In him, only in him!!!

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self‑controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6-11 NIV84)

Day one!

Good morning! I'm ready for the day, I will admit my urge to sign on and tell the Facebook about my day and wish my daughters a happy time at the zoo today... I remembered and moved on! Drop the kids off, head to the Y-bible study work, then personal training;))) Then walk at the oak... Good luck ladies;)

My testimony.... on the challenge:)

Last year May 30... I made a decision that was one of the hardest of my life, I chose for every party involved that seperating my family would be the best decision for ALL of us. Right or wrong, we chose to follow through with it....
So here I am, I took a vow to focus on becoming the best me I can be. I had never done this and didnt know how, I jumped from relationship to relationship, man to man. I had the twins at 17 and 3 kids by 20. I didnt even know me... How many of us women truly have no idea who we ARE? I mean and arent we the one person we spend the most time with... I vowed no committments, no desicions, no moves or drastic changes, full submission to God to becom who I was destined and created to be!!!
So here I am the last 30 days of my vow.......... man have I grown, and this will be the test... can I do it, ONLY by the strength in God can I, and we will see:)
Here we are ladies Midnight is the chance to be us: stronger, wiser and purer-all me!!!!!!

The challenge!!!!!!!